Two weeks ago, we met at Grandma's House Brewery and talked about #metoo. It was a challenging topic, but one that we knew we needed to meet about and try to cover. Needless to say, there was no way to cover everything. But we gave it a shot.
As a result of that evening, Janel has recorded a podcast to also cover some of the material. This is definitely not everything we did, nor is it a comprehensive episode. But I hope that it opens up the topic and creates room for healthy listening and dialogue.
This podcast is probably PG13, in that there are a few stories about things women have experienced.
I want to thank several people for their contributions. Dr. Christy Sim is a domestic violence expert who helped with the resources and layout of the evening. Dr. Kara Lyons-Pardue is a professor of NT who helped me with liturgical resources. Lyndia Radice is an experienced Social Worker who also helped make sure this discussion was helpful and healthy.
I also want to thank Ryan Miller for reflecting on his own experiences in the church around this topic. And, my husband for talking with our group about HR policies. As always, thank you to Dan for being the best podmaster ever!
Following are a list of resources referenced in the podcast or used in our discussion. If you would like to host your own discussion please reach out and let us know.
The National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1−800−799−7233
National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 or chat
Please know: We know that this does not just happen to women. There are stories in our group from people on all sides having been abused and mistreated. We do not dismiss or diminish those stories. But in this context, we did focus on women.
From Buzzfeed: 32 Everyday Things Women Do That Men Don’t Have To Worry About
This is a powerful read. It is real. It is something that probably any woman in your life will tell you is true. Please take some time to think about these daily thoughts for women.
A Note to Men:
"Women are not asking men to give up their manhood in order to support women leaders. Rather, they are asking for men to bring their whole selves to work so that they can show up, contribute, listen, and collaborate.
Women don't want men to feel bad about being men. That's not the point. It's not just about teaching men not to be sexist and oblivious. Yes, all men have more to learn on this topic. And, yes, women want men to be respectful. But they are not asking men to be passive and silent. "
Reflection Questions on the Podcast:
1. What were you taught early on about how to treat people of the opposite/different gender?
2. Do you still believe those things?
3. Where have you changed your views?
*In our group discussion, it was pointed out that emotions are also taught with these things. The emotion wheel may be helpful here for additional reflection.
On Male/Female Bias - From A Transgendered Perspective
You can learn more about Paula Stone Williams here. Her Tedx Talk from Denver is not live yet.
Power and Control Wheel
Many times the abuse that we are seeing right now has less to do with gender and more to do with power and control, which is expressed along gender lines. These actions can happen to anyone from anyone. And they are abusive.
*If you are in an abusive relationship and need help, please reach out to someone you trust. Call the abuse hotline or seek the help of counselor.
Emotions are tough. Especially when we might not know how to name them all or be able to distinguish how they feel. This can happen for lots of reasons depending on family upbringing, early abuse, or religious upbringing. Be aware of and being able to name our emotions can help us in all areas of life.
Here is the poem we closed the night with: V'ahavta by Aurora Levins Morales
Other Poems that friends offered:
It is not just the interior of these walls,
It is our own inner beings You [are renewing]...
We are Your temple not made with hands.
We are Your body.
If every wall should crumble, and every church decay,
We are You habitation…
We bless You for this place…
[but] take us “outside the camp,” Lord,
Out to where soldiers gamble,
And thieves curse,
And nations clash
At the cross-roads of the world…
George McLeod adapted by John Philip Newell
Video Submission: "Word Choice"